IELTS Writing Task 1: process diagram essay

Last week I suggested an essay structure for the following question:

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.

Here is my full essay (170 words):

The figure illustrates the process used by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to forecast the weather.

There are four stages in the process, beginning with the collection of information about the weather. This information is then analysed, prepared for presentation, and finally broadcast to the public.

Looking at the first and second stages of the process, there are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it. Firstly, incoming information can be received by satellite and presented for analysis as a satellite photo. The same data can also be passed to a radar station and presented on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Secondly, incoming information may be collected directly by radar and analysed on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Finally, drifting buoys also receive data which can be shown on a synoptic chart.

At the third stage of the process, the weather broadcast is prepared on computers. Finally, it is delivered to the public on television, on the radio, or as a recorded telephone announcement.

Note:
I've also sent a full essay version of yesterday's task 2 lesson to everyone who has bought the ebook.

Comments

[felora]

Dear Simon,

Thanks for full essay.
I have couple of grammatical questions about this essay.

1. Is verb “used”,in the first line, is passive and can I say “which is used”instead of used only?

2. In the introduction: and finally broadcast to the public. Can I write “for” instead of “to”? And also shouldn’t be “broadcasted” instead of “broadcast” since the previous verbs, analysed and prepared, are in passive forms.

3. Is this paragraph suitable as second body paragraph? Is the passive verbs are correct and should they be in simple present?

Following the first two steps, all the weather information then is transferred to the computer, where they are prepared for final assessment before forecasting. Finally, the generated data is broadcasted through TV, newspapers, radio or recorded on telephones.

Kind regards

[Emy]

Hi Simon

can you tell me the mine steps for writing task 1 (process
diagram essay) because I have a problem with this kind of essay

thank you

[Loannie]

Hi Simon,

Thanks for your advice, your encouragement and your helpful essay example :)

Cheers!
Loannie

[Simon]

Hi Felora,

1. Yes, 'which is used' is correct. Sometimes we miss the 'which is', but both ways are fine.

2. You can write 'for' instead of 'to'. 'Broadcast' is a strange verb because you can choose between 2 past participles: either 'broadcast' or 'broadcasted'. Both are correct past participles.

3. Your paragraph is good. Use 'it' instead of 'they' as the pronoun referring to 'information'.

Hope this helps

...

Hi Emy,

Do you mean 'nine' steps? I'm not sure what you mean. The essay above is a process diagram essay. I've done some other lessons about processes - have a look through all the lessons in the task 1 section.

...

No problem Loannie.

Simon

[Emy]

Hi Simon

I mean what is the mine steps to write any process diagram essay

thank you

[Simon]

Hi Emy,

I don't understand what you mean by "mine steps". Can you explain in a different way?

[Simon]

Emy,

Have a look at these 2 lessons:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process-1.html

I hope this helps,

Simon

[adverb]

Hi,Simon.
When I refer to the lowest point, is it Ok to say" reach the bottom of。。。" or "bottoming at。。。"？ Are there any other alternatives?

Regards

[Simon]

Hi Adverb,

I wouldn't write "reached the bottom" or "bottoming". Just write "the number of x reached its lowest point" or "fell to its lowest point".

You will only have to write this once (there is only one lowest point) so you don't really need any alternatives. If it were me, I'd just use the phrases I've suggested above.

All the best

Simon

[dushyant]

Hi Simon,

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process-1.html

Both of these two links are now working, can you please upload them again thanks

[payal]

describe the process of distilling salty water into fresh water.

[Simon]

Hi Payal,

Have you got the diagram for that question?

[Bunny]

what a useful website!
I had been really confused about how to write in a diagram,finally I got the technique from here!
Thank you,Simon!
I wish I could have known this website earlier!
I will sit for IELTS next week...
In many textbooks,it is always suggested to add a conclusion at the end of task 1,but now I decide to follow what you teach us,hopefully I will get a high score this time~~

[Simon]

Hi Bunny,

I'm glad you found the site in time!

Best of luck in your test.

[Aleaf Sun]

Dear Simon,

I just want to know if it is ok for me to write "on radio" in stead of "on the radio" in the last paragraph of your essay.

Thank you.

Aleaf

[Simon]

Hi Aleaf,

English speakers usually say "on the radio".

[Essay Writing]

Wow you made some great points here, i got to say that i like visiting and reading your article, yo have done a great job man, awesome.

[Moka]

Dear Simon ,
Could you please tell me why did you say secondly,incoming inf may be collected directly by radar and analyses on RADAR SCREEN or synoptic chart?
As the figure reveals only from radar to synoptic chart.
Please explain.
Thanks a lot,

[Simon]

Hi Moka,

There is a small line from the radar picture to the radar screen. I assume this line refers to radar information from the radar station OR information that originally came from satellites.

[saeed hedayati]

hi buddy
good job
just wanna tell u that d 1st sentence in d 3rd paragraph is not correct!!!
Looking at the first and second stages of the process, (there!!!) are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it.
grammatically speaking u r supposed to put the subject of the verb looking after the punctuation.
Looking at the first and second stages of the process, (I) can say there are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it.
best

[Simon]

Hi Saeed,

I'm afraid you are wrong. It's very normal in English to begin sentences or clauses with "there are" e.g. "There are five people in my class."

[sohaib]

hi Simon
"at the third stage of the process"
could it be
"at the third stage IN the process"

[sohaib]

one more thing
i know it is better to write "the diagram shows" but to avoid repetition can i write "as shown on the diagram"

[Simon]

Hi Sohaib,

Yes, 'in' is fine.

You will probably only write "the diagram shows" once in the introduction, so don't worry about that.

[susan]

thank simon!
What a really excellent website
best wish for you

[susan]

can i write:
first way
second way
instead of firstly, secondly
thank you in advance

[Simon]

Thanks Susan!

No don't write 'first way' etc. We would never write that in English.

[Li]

Hi Simon,

I dont think the links that you mentioned in one of your comments are working.

If you can have a look that would be great.

Many thanks. And thank you also for your great website.

Li.

[Simon]

Hi Li,

I think this is the link you need:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/09/ielts-writing-task-1-process-diagrams.html