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Thursday, June 03, 2010

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The Graph line clearly shows and compares the families with regular use of a car between 1971 and 2007 in Great Britain.
To begin with, The most important aspect of this graph is that most of the families have one car with %45 percentage and this trend has slightly changed since 1971. On the other hand families who do not have cars have decreased dramatically from 1971 to 2007.

However, There was a steady increase among families who have two cars. There were less families who has two or more cars and their percantage has slighly increased from 1971 to 2007.

Hi Zuhre,

For me, the most important points are the big changes for "no car" and "two cars". I would focus on these points in my 'general summary' paragraph (after the introduction).

The line graph illustrates the households with regular use of a car over a period of 36 years from 1971 to 2007 in Great Britain.
In generally there is a rising trend in use of two cars while households without a care percentage gradually decrease.

In 1971 majority of Great Britain families around 48% did not own a car, In contrast around 45% own a single car and around 8% used two cars. The number of three cars users was at a minimum level of 1 to 2 percent.

Throughout the 36 years the number of single car user’s percentage remains stable around 45%. On the other hand even though the percentages of two cars users and three cars users gradually increased there is a marked rise can be noted in two cars with a deference around 20% by the year 2007.

The percentage of no car users compared to year 1971 has reduced around 50% in year 2007 from 48% to 25%.

Hi Upendra,

You've got the right idea about how to organise your essay from general to specific.

If you have a teacher, ask him/her to check through the essay and help you with small grammar problems.

Thnk you very much Simon for the advice.

No problem

Hi, Simon,could you give me some suggestions on each paragraph? And I find that I have used" the proportion ,and the percentage" too many times. How can I solve this problem?

Paragraph1:The line graph below gives information about the variation in the percentage of households that owned no car, one car and two or more cars in the UK over a period of 36 years.

Paragraph2:It is clear that the proportion of families with 2 cars increased dramatically over the period shown while the figure for families without cars dropped considerably.

Paragraph3:In 1971, the percentages of British homes that owned two cars and three or more cars stood at about 2% and 7% respectively. By contrast,around 45% of British families used one car compared to about 48% of families without cars.

Paragraph4:The next twenty years saw a slight increase in the percentage of households with three or more cars. However,the figure for families with no cars remained stable from 1971 to 2007.During the same period, the proportion of families with two cars rose significantly to approximately 26% whereas the figure for those without cars dropped shaply to 25%.

Hi Adverb,

Your essay looks really good. You've definitely got the right idea. Don't worry about using 'proportion' and 'percentage' - these are key words that you need to repeat.

Good work

The graph below illustrates the proportion of car used by household in United Kingdom in a decade.

It is noticeable from the graph,in 1971, there were approximately 45% of household with regular use of one car. The pattern fluctuated throughout the period, reaching to just over 40% by 2007. However, the number of household with no car were well below 50% in 1971 and then gradually decreased to roughly one fifth by 2007.

Furthermore, nearly one fifth of household had two cars in 1971 and then it significantly risen, reaching to a quarter by 2007. Nonetheless, there were least percentage of household who had three or more cars, but it steadily improved to 5% by 2007.

Overall, it is interesting to note maximum number of people throughout the decade had one car and the minority proportion of household had three or more cars.

Thank you soooo...much!

Hi Sachin,

Overall, you've got the right idea (although I prefer to do the 'general' paragraph second rather than last). Just remember to use the plural of 'household' e.g. "the number of households"

Regards

...

No problem Adverb.

Your suggestion is appreciated. Many thanks. Sachin.

No problem Sachin

dear simon

i have made a few changes in the intro and summery. i don't know if i am too late to get a comment from you.


The graph shows variations in the number of cars owned by British households over a 36 year period.
As can be seen in the graph, there was an increase in the car ownership in Britain between 1971 and 2007. While the percentage of households with no car fell dramatically, the figures for families with two cars increased three fold.

Hi Nishad,

Your introduction and summary are really good. No problems with this.

thank you very much simon

No problem Nishad

Hi Simon
I just checked your essay for this task, it's very nice.. ^^
Here's mine :

The line graph gives information of car used in the UK households in a period of around 30 years.
It is clear that the use of cars rose significantly from the beginning to the end of the period given. Out of the four categories, the households with two cars had the most dramatic increase.
In 1971, household with no car had the highest percentage which was nearly 50%. The families with one car were in the second position with approximately 45%. One the other hand, the use of two cars and three cars were recorded at almost 10% and just over 2% respectively.
It can be seen that there were dramatic increases in the use of two cars which had risen steadily for the rest period given from only 8% to nearly at 28%. Whereas the households with three or more cars rose gradually to 8%. In contrast, the families with one car remained stable although it was always in the period of fluctuation. Conversely, the other category, no car, had fallen dramatically from nearly 50% to just around 20%.

Hi Chita,

Your essay looks good. You´ve got the right idea.

Keep up the good work!

Hi Simon,
I would like to ask you a question
Could I organize the writing task 1 like:
1. Introducition - paraphrase question
2. Body1 - Specific facts
3. Body2 - Other figures
4. Conclusion - The overal trends

I mean should I put the second paragraph in your writing task1 struture into the conclusion paragraph?

Hi Do Van Long,

Yes, that's fine. The summary/overview paragraph can be either second or at the end - just make sure you have time to do it because it's a VERY important part of the essay.

Hi, Simon,

I have just tried to write a essay followint the tips you've given. How do think about my essay?

The line graph compares the regular use of a car in Great Britain over the span of 36 years, 1971-2007.

As can be seen, families with no car and families with two cars revealed the most remarkable change while one-car families and three-or-more-cars families presented a small fluctuation between 1971 and 2007.

According to the graph, no-car families which possessed the most figures of use, at 48%, in 1971 dropped the figure to 25% in 2007. In contrast, two-cars families began their number from 8% in 1971, and climbed constantly to a peak rate, 26%, which was even higher than the winner of the beginning, the no-car families.

Speaking to those families with only one car or three or more cars, while the use rate in one-car families stayed within a similar range, around 45%, the use rate of three-or-more cars families rose slightly from 1% to 6% throughout the 36 years.

Hi Aleaf,

You've got the right idea, but I'm afraid I can't give feedback, corrections or scores. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays.

Hi Simon plz correct my writing
thanks in advance.

The graph exhibits the number of cars which are owned in each family over a 36-year period from 1971 to 2007 in Britain.

Generally, the trends for houses with no car had a sharp fall, while the percentage for those who have two cars increased dramatically.

As it can be seen from the chart, the proportion of people with one car was almost steady throughout these years below 45 per cent following by some fluctuation.However, the houses with more than three cars rose slightly from just 2% in 1971 to over 7 per cent in the year 2007.

In contrast, trend for households who have no car stood at below 45 in 1971 following by a sharp decline up to 24 per cent in 2007, whereas the percentage of people with two cars increased considerably from under 10 per cent to over 25%, where two trends cut each other.

Hi Mohammad,

I'm afraid I don't offer essay correction or scoring. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays.

You seem to have the right idea though.

ok just give me ur idea about my essay in one sentence.

thank you

It looks fine to me Mohammad. You've got the right idea.

Hi Simon,
I have a pleasure for you, can you tell my weaknesses please, thanks in advance


The gragh reveals that the percentage of households with regularly using no car, one car, two cars and three or more cars over the span of 36 years.
It can be clearly seen that the highest percentage of using car is recorded in one car and no car by 1971. Using of a one car was fluctuated until the year 2007 at 44%. In Great Britain the lowest percentage of a car recorded in three or more cars, while it gradually increased until the year 2007.
Two or more cars in the United Kingdom steeply went up until the end of the trend at 27%. In contrast, no car was decreased over the 30 years at 26 rating.
In conclusion we can see that no car is dropping while the two cars was icreasing.

Hi Bobur,

I'm afraid I don't offer essay correction or scoring. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays.

I do answer specific questions here in the comments area, but I can't provide a grammar correction service.

simon do you have your own sample essay for this?? tnx

Dear Simon

I dont know if it is too late but what do you think about my first essay. I know you dont score the essays but are there any hope for me?

This graph describes household car usage percentages among years in Great Britain from 1971 to 2007.

In 1971, percentage of people without having car were close to half of Great Britain. At the same time percentage of people with car were near to percentage of people without having car. Percentage of people with two cars and three or more cars were respectively approximately 7 and 1. During years from 1971 to 2007 having two car people percentage makes double in spite of no car people makes the half.

In 1975 percentages were similar between one car and no car people. In 2003, percentages of people having with two car and without car were equal. On the hand percentage of having three car people were slightly increased on the other hand percentage of having one car people went steadily among years. The graph also shows the amount of cars in Great Britain increased during years.

Dear Simon:
This is my first essay, could you give me some suggestions on each paragraph?

This is a line graph which illustrates the use of a car over a 36 years period from 1971 to 2007 in England.

As can be seen, there are some significant fluctuate about the among of families without car and families which has two cars.

According to the figures, it is crystal clear that the one car group stay stabilized to approximately 45% from 1971 to 2007, beside, in 1971 the type of three or more cars group stay in the same percentage until 1978, afterward climbs to 7%.

It is interesting to note that the families without car group from the highest proportion roughly 48% dropped rapidly to 25% while two cars groups increased year after year.

Hi Simon, This is my first comment. Please give your precious advice (if convenient) on the essay I have written. Please suggest if it requires a comment since para 1 includes the overall idea.
Thanks in Advance

The Graph compares the changes in the car ownership in Great Britain during the 36 year period upto 2007. It is evident that households with two or those having no cars underwent the highest change during this period.

On one hand, while in 1971, the families owning one car, which stood at 44% of the total population, those owning 3 or more cars at just around 1%, showed the least change upto 2007. Although there was a small increase in the proportion of households owning 3 or more cars to 7% in 2007, proportion of families owning no car fell slightly by 1% till 2007.

On the other hand, households with 2 cars, the proportion which was below 10% in 1971 and became stangnant at 10% during 1974 to 1979, increased steadily to reach at its peak at 27% in 2007. In Contrast, families with no car fell dramatically from 48% to reach its bottom at 25% during the same period.


The graph illustrates the number of families in Great Britain that use cars daily, from the year 1971 up to the year 2007.

It is clearly depicted that the families that owns two cars and does not own any car underwent the most significant changes. As shown in the illustration, the percentage of the families who does not own a car decreased steadily from about 50% on 1971 up until to almost its half on 2001. On contrast, the number of families who owns two or more cars steadily increased and doubled from almost about 10% up to almost 30%.

On the other hand, families that only use one car and three or more cars remained quite stable during the said period and even though there are some fluctuations it does not present any significant changes, but a small increase could be noted on families that use three or more cars everyday in Great Britatin.

The graph illustrates the number of families in Great Britain that use cars daily, from the year 1971 up to the year 2007.

It is clearly depicted that the families that owns two cars and does not own any car underwent the most significant changes. As shown in the illustration, the percentage of the families who does not own a car decreased steadily from about 50% on 1971 up until to almost its half on 2001. On contrast, the number of families who owns two or more cars steadily increased and doubled from almost about 10% up to almost 30%.

On the other hand, families that only use one car and three or more cars remained quite stable during the said period. The percentage of families that only use one car showed some fluctuations, but even so it does not present any significant changes. As for the number of families that has three or more cars there is a slight increase on its percentage from almost 0% to almost 10%.

Overall, it can be seen that there was a increase in the number of households that are using cars daily.

I tried adding some things. **
If you could be kind enough to thoroughly look at my work and rate it. Thank you so much! :)

Hi Justin,
I'm Jo-an and preparing for my IELTS exam this November 24. I read you essay and it's amazing. I am wondering where did you learn how to write an essay because I really have a hard time in composing an essay.

If you could just tell me specifically what to do.

Thank You so much

*I read you essay and it's amazing.

This is my essay:

The graph illustrates the percentage of families that have been using cars on a regular basis in the UK between 1971 and 2007.

It is clear that the proportion of families which own two cars has risen dramatically from about 8% to 16% over the last 36 years while those with no car dropped significantly from almost 50% to 25%.

Number of families with only one car has been fluctuating but remained steady through the years which stood at around 45% which is the highest among all. The percentage of households that used three or more cars shows a slight increase for about 6% from approximately 1% to 7%.

Overall, the proportion of families without a car has decreased to a great extent however of those that own more than one car is rising rapidly.

Hi Simon and every one. Here is my essay, every comment is an advice for me.
The line chart illustrates the families using car regularly in Great Britain from 1971- 2007 period.
It is noticeable that the percentage of households having two cars increased significantly. Meanwhile, the proportion of families did not use car decreased dramatically.
From around 8% in 1971, the third position, the percentage of households own two cars trebled to about 26% in 2007. In contrast, the proportion of families using no car halved in this period, from approximately 50% in 1971 dropped to nearly 25% in 2007.
On the other hand, the percentages of families having one and three or more cars have not dramatic changes. The proportion of families own one car remained stable around 44% and this kind of families was to be the most popular in Great Britain since 1975 to 2007. The households using three or more cars accounts for a small number in comparison with three others use less than three cars, reached about 1% in 1971 and increased a little, to nearly 8% in 2007.(190 word).
Dear Simon, i know you can't check all essay for me but could you tell me about my main ideas. And the lengths of paragraph 3 and 4 are so different, does it lead to the structure of the essay to be unbalance and it affects my score?

Hi,
That is mine :)

The chart shows us changings in the percentages of number of cars using by one family from 1971 to 2007 in Great Britain.

First of all, in the chart it seems that families are divided four parts. These are those have no car, have one car, have two cars, and have three or more cars. At first glance, it is obviously seen that there is a big increase in the number of families that have two cars. To clarify, in 1971 there are less than a 10percentages of families have two cars.However, their percentages is between 25 and 30 percentages in 2007. In addition the families that have two cars, there is a significant chance in the number of families who have no car. What is mentioned in the graphic is that while there are almost 50 percentages of families have no car in 1971, there are approximately 25percentages of families that do not have a car in 2007.

Also, it is clear that there is not an important changes in the percantages of families that have one car or have three or more cars.

If anybody correct my mistakes, I will be glad :)

Hi everyone, please check and comment on my essay below

The information given in the graph shows that households with regular use of a car over a thirty-six years period in Great Britain between 1971 and 2007.

In 1971, almost half of all British households did not have regular use of a car. About 44% had one car, but only around 7% had two cars. It was uncommon for domestics to own three or more cars, with around 2% of households falling into this category.

The one-car household was the most regular type from the late 1970s onwards, even though there was little difference in the figures for this category. The biggest change was seen in the percentage of families without a car, which decreased steadily over the 36-year period by around 25% in 2007. On the other hand, the proportion of households with two cars increased dramatically (about 15%) and with three or more cars also increased to around 5%.

In conclusion,it can be siad that the number of households with more than two cars grew impressively, while the number of households without a car dropped suddenly.

The line graph illustrates the trends in percentage of households in Great Britain who were using cars regularly between 1971 and 2007. Overall, the proportion of households with no cars dropped significantly while there was a sharp rise in the percentages of homes with two cars.

In 1971, nearly half, 50 per cent of British households had no car. However, this figure declined sharply to around 25 per cent in 2007. In contrast, the percentage of families who possessed two cars increased dramatically from around seven per cent in 1971 to about 25 per cent in 2007. Similarly, households with three or more cars, though they accounted for the smallest percentage, showed an increase of five per cent.

Households which owned one car remained stable at around 45 per cent over the same period with some fluctuations.

In conclusion, car ownership increased in Great Britain with a tendency to possess more than two cars.

The line graph shows changes in the percentage of housholds usage of no,one,two,and three or more cars in Great Britain between 1971 to 2007.

It is noticable that usage of one car was by far the most popular of the four groups for majority of the 36 years period. However,a considerable rise can be seen in the utilisation of more than two cars with figures eventually surpassing those for no car.

Between 1971 and 1975, British housholds one car utilization dropped from around 49% to 44% and overtook those for one car usage 1n 1975.During the same period,utilisation of one car flactuated between 42% and 44%,while the figures for two cars and three or more cars usage were by far the least popular with 9% and 1% of the British housholds respectively.

By 2007,the percentage of no car used by British housholds had plummeted to around 25%,but the usage of two cars had doubled since the 1979s,to approximate 28% of the housholds.Also, the usage of three or more cars had rosen dramtically to around 8%, while there were no significant changes in the trend of one car usage over the period as a whole.

The line graph compares the number of cars used in family units in the UK between 1971 and 2007.

Overall, it can be seen that the percentage of households which utilized one or three and over cars was steady while there was a considerable change in the proportion of families with no car or two cars.

According to the chart, there was a significant increase in the number of households with two cars from around 8% to just under 30%, a rise of 22% in 36 years. On the contrary, the figure of family units without car dramatically dropped from nearly 50% to 25% between 1971 and 2007.

In 1971, the proportion of one car used in families stood at around 43 percent and this trend was fixed in next 35 years while there was a slight growth in the figure of households with three or more cars from 2% (in 1971) to 7% (in 2007).

The line chart illustrates the proportions of family with regular use of car in the UK over a period of 36 years.
It is clearly shown that the percentages of households who do not have any car went down dramatically each year whereas the family who had two cars increased steadily.
In 1971, around 2% and 8% family own more than three cars and at least two cars respectively in 1971. In contrast, the proportions of households who do not own any car were higher than the family who had at one car. (Around 58% as opposed to about 44%)
After 1971, the percentages of family who own one car stabled until 2007. However, there was a slightly upward trend for the households who had more than three cars, but it still below 10% in 2007. On the other hand, the figure for family who had two cars grew rapidly from around 8% to approximately 28%. Meanwhile, the figure for the households who do not have any car plummeted, hitting a low-proportions of about 25%.

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